Prioritize What is Essential

It is helpful to practice sorting our “to do lists” into the truly essential tasks and those that are nonessential, in order to carve out more time to care for ourselves, unwind, and spend enjoyable time with people we love. A counselor in one of my consultation groups recently told a story in which she was growing resentful of her husband and his ability to relax on his days off. In an argument with him, she had stated emphatically, “There are no days off in this household!” While believing this assertion wholeheartedly as she was expressing it to him, she had to laugh at herself as she was recounting the story aloud in our group. She realized it wasn’t okay with her for him to have a “day off” because she had never considered the possibility that she, too, might be entitled to regular down time. We explored the undercurrent of beliefs that drive so many of us to push hard without resting, to put others before ourselves, and to deny our basic needs for rest, nourishment, and pleasure. Yes, some of the tasks of work and parenting and taking care of a home are essential, but some are not. Counselor wellness is sustained when we take an ongoing inventory of what’s truly important and make sure we’ve made ourselves a high priority on our running “list” of things requiring care.