Why is it important that counselors take care of themselves?

Everyone deserves good care, and counselors are included in that “everyone.” We are entitled to the same riches of health, joy, peace, connection, and opportunity that we wish for our clients and the communities we serve.

Additionally, counseling is a profession dependent upon our ability to be authentic and attune empathically, as it is through this process of careful attunement that healing and growth occur. Research consistently demonstrates that the quality of the therapeutic relationship is more predictive of counseling outcome than any other factor. Since the self of the counselor is an essential component of effective counseling, it is vital that we nourish our own wellness. When we are well, we are better able to connect with our clients, more attentive and creative in our work, and less likely to make clinical errors or violate boundaries. We are instruments of healing. If we don’t keep our own instrument tuned, we won’t be useful in promoting wellness in others. The airplane metaphor holds true here: If we don’t put our own oxygen masks on first, we won’t be able to care for anyone else.

We also serve as role models for our clients. We, therefore, need to be aware of the messages we teach clients when we honor boundaries or neglect to set them, when we take a day off to nurture our health or come into work sick, or when we model joy and curiosity or unintentionally share the flat affect of our unresolved grief or depression. Take excellent care of yourself! When you do, you contribute exponentially to the joy in the world!

Challenges to Counselor Wellness

There are many challenges to maintaining counselor wellness, and many of these stem from the nature of the work itself. Thomas Skovholt, author of The Resilient Practitioner, describes the “Caring Cycle” in which counselors repeatedly connect to clients through empathy, become actively involved with them, and then ultimately disengage as clients leave therapy (after the work is done and also when counseling work ends prematurely for a variety of reasons). Over the course of months, years, and a career, this caring cycle can take a toll an emotional toll on counselors.  Empathy is the foundation for and an absolutely critical component of all effective counseling work. It is also the conduit through which the pain of the client impacts the self of the counselor.  While vital, being emotionally attuned and available to clients increases our vulnerability in the work. And, yet, we cannot be effective in our work if we are not emotionally attuned and available. Within the counseling relationship and within the moment-by-moment interplay of each session, this is the ultimate balancing act – finding ways to stay attuned to clients while maintaining a strong and deep connection with our own experience.

It is important for counselors to understand that there are risk factors inherent in the work and that noticing signs of stress or distress is a sign of health not impairment. None of us are immune to the effects of the work. When counselors can view their emotional responses to their work as an expected part of empathic engagement (rather than something they are doing wrong), they are more likely to seek support, talk about stress with colleagues, and engage in self-care practices to support their overall wellness.